Tame Those Talons


It’s been more than a month that we had a sleepover.

So this time we are all ecstatic with joy to be “spending the night” together.
So as we are on each other (now now, ease on imagination) fighting, pushing and of course “pillow-fighting”, one my friend’s nails scratched, dug and uprooted the scales of my skin.Which brings me to think about, what purpose exactly do long nails serve?

A friend of mine once mentioned “It keeps me from biting them,since they are long” (or since they are comparatively dirty?). Now even for the most hygienic person keeping nails 100% bacteria free is completely impossible or keeping them cleaner than short ones.

So you do end up masticating germs.

So next time maybe you wouldn’t want to wince at a nose-booger-eater since obviously his/her germ intake is WAY less than yours’ (long nail keepers cum biters).

Well long nails can be put to use for many chores, like secondary option for when you can’t find that damned bottle opener (secondary in case you don’t brush too often to have good teeth and tertiary if otherwise).

OR

Scratch the hell out of your boyfriend who cheated on you with that ‘bitch’ you always were despised of.(Although I wouldn’t mind a kick in the balls as remembrance either)

And some of the following ones which could be possibly possible.

Alternative Music: Nails scratching on a black board. The screeching voice of a metal singer isn’t irritating anymore now is it?

Extendibles: When that remote is just one cm away and all that you need are? Long nails!

Piercing: This I is swear is true. Nail piercing. Apparently, it’s the new “it” thing .__.

Excuses: Long nails. More fragile. Less work.

Storage: For those who claim they have “sanitized” nails use ’em to store your snacks.

Writing Instrument: Remember the times of feather-in-ink-dipped pens? Start a new trend.

Fashion: Tattoo on ’em. In case it’s your ex-Boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s(yes, guys too keep long nails! sometimes with nail paint!) name, cut ’em off(At least that would help get rid off those dragon paws).

Cooking: When you’re making that “baingan ka bharta” and you need to poke the knife into the Brinjal(Eggplant). Well, you have 10 knifes with you now(Yea, they are that sharp in case you did not know). But, please do not feed the “bharta” to anyone else but yourself.

Luscious Hair: Finger combing. An alternative to a comb but make sure you know how to deal with the dandruff that will be stuck in you “clean” nails.(Just like bacteria, dandruff is never 100% absent)

Guinness World Record: Every stupid act will have this one as a reason.



P.S: Just cut those smutty long nails off or keep them far far away from those who are positively hygienic.

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7 comments

  1. Red Handed · March 20, 2011

    >haha! thr you go girl! I have always despised long nails (mebbe coz i dont have the oatience enuff to keep them long). I hate the dirt getting stored. Yuck it is!you turned out damn funny in expressing it!!keep writing 🙂

    Like

  2. psychopneuma · March 20, 2011

    >@Red HandedThank you so much!It's annoying when people(male/female) keep long nails and go on to defend how clean they are X-(

    Like

  3. Kunal · March 20, 2011

    >Storage of snacks in nails… lol only you can come up with something like this.. nice one

    Like

  4. psychopneuma · March 20, 2011

    >@KunalWidening the options =P

    Like

  5. prajakta · March 20, 2011

    >Nice illustration! =P

    Like

  6. psychopneuma · March 20, 2011

    >@prajaktaThank you =D

    Like

  7. likemymusings · March 21, 2011

    >very humorous illustrative. I like to add one instance some years back,a lady was hospitalized for mistakenly swishing off her eye out of the secure godly place on to her hands,while washing her face with long decorative nails.you can add this also. but this is a rare happening. It happens generally to the opponent.

    Like

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