Those Weird Awkward Moments


Now maybe not everyone is going to agree with me on this(of course those lucky and relieved ones!), especially not au courant time but for me and many around me it is as nail-bitingly awkward to have a sex-discussion with my parents as nervously awkward hocking a loogie whilst talking to my crush is(and of course embarrassing). It’s as if you never know what to say next. It could make the situation more perplexing than it is. It could turn into an event(horrific moment) where things start to turn against you and your secrets start amping out(you don’t do sex discussions with your parents, hell ya you know what secrets I’m talking about!).Or maybe worse. For me, on the other hand, it was a moment of awkward silence followed by a kiddie giggle(mind you that wasn’t me).

One day I find this scummy looking worm in my house which happened to be a tad bit smaller than a maggot(not a tad less disgusting one though) and once I am done bug spraying, disposing, sanitizing with an acid that can burn down a metal, I am left with the dreaded thought of where it came from(Meanwhile I find a another disgusting one).

So going by the fact how obsessively curious a soul I am and thus after my toiling, travailing, slogging research(googling. Its hard work. Choosing the right words is.) I found out its a larvae out of a ‘flour moth’.
Thats it.
No dead bodies buried inside the wall.
No mummies under the wooden boards.
Just some stupid flour moths.

Incidentally or rather coincidentally my mother spots a flour moth on the wall. She takes a closer look and what appears to her is a conjoined pair of flour moths. After conjoined humans, bananas, strawberries, it’s conjoined FLOUR MOTHS!

I used to think the story my mother told me about eating conjoined bananas and hence bearing conjoined twins is rather funny. When once I satirically was about to eat one(or do I call it a pair?) and found my mother do a matrix move to stop me from eating it and thence confirming that to her its not a funny story, it left me dumbfounded and scared(I mean, matrix move!).

So I went ahead to scrutinize this particular conjoined moth(s?)(it is really confusing. Is it still singular if its a twin?Or do I always refer to them as a pair like I do for my jeans?).

From blowing air into their faces(or maybe asses) to slightly poking them, nothing seemed to make them move. So I was almost convinced that its a conjoined one(Oh my god NOBEL PRIZE!), but just to be beyond any shadow of doubt I trapped it(still conjoined!) in a transparent box and moved it vigorously and it still wont separate!
And just in a minute when my golden moment seemed to be so close, so near, they separated.
They frigging separated.

When I announced abased that it was a false alarm, my mother came back questioning why they weren’t moving previously.

Mom: Why didn’t it move when you poked it?

Me: (don’t frigging say sex, or mating)They were in the egg transfer process.

Mom: What?

Me: They were mating(damn it).

Awkward silence. Dad looks up, stares at me, arches his brows, goes back to watching t.v.

Mom: hehehehehehehe
(thats the kiddie giggle I was talking about!)

I think I prefer hocking a loogie in front of my crush.

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5 comments

  1. prajakta · February 17, 2011

    >Hahahahaha!

    Like

  2. Prachi Savant · March 18, 2011

    >I think this is the first time I've READ about hocking a loogie! 😀

    Like

  3. psychopneuma · March 19, 2011

    >@Prachi SavantIsn't it a relief you don't have to see one!

    Like

  4. JJ · April 4, 2011

    Larva don’t mate. They can do it only when they are adult, in this case adult flour moth

    Like

    • psychopneuma · April 4, 2011

      No two creatures mate before becoming an adult. LARVAE don’t mate.Well mostly they don’t ’cause they cannot. I did not talk about larvae mating.

      Like

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